Why Is It . . .

. . .That online writing job postings with lots of exclamation points in the subject line (or even one, really) invariably pay nothing? I don’t get it. Do they think people are so dimwitted that they’ll be distracted by the !!!!!!!! and not notice that the gig pays squat?

This is sort of a continuation of my Danger, Will Robinson! (Or: How I Learned to Spot Job Posting Red Flags, Part 1) post.

Danger, Will Robinson! (Or: How I Learned to Spot Job Posting Red Flags, Part 3)

To read Part 1, visit here. Part 2 here.

Let's talk about money ... your money. More specifically, throwing your money away. And chances are that's what you'll end up doing if you pay to obtain "secret" job listings.

These kinds of ads prey upon our desire to get the jump on our competition by giving us access into an all-exclusive enclave. Don't be fooled. There is no such thing as a super-duper-ultra-suede-Doppler-5000-double-dog-dare listing of secret freelance jobs. If you receive anything for your money, it will be recycled listings from job sites that are easily available to anyone for free.

And of course, you should never -- EVER -- pay to have something you write be considered for publication (contests are another animal). That's called a rip-off.

Danger, Will Robinson! (Or: How I Learned to Spot Job Posting Red Flags, Part 2)

To read Part 1, visit here.

Let’s take a look at freelance writing job postings that ask for a little too much.

If the ad requires you to take a "test" by writing a "sample," hit the Back button. This is an open invitation to steal your work (it happens all the time), especially if they demand you submit it to them today. You’ll typically be asked to write on a very specific topic with certain keywords and phrases. You’ll bust your butt to craft the best piece possible, submit it, and the chances that you never hear from them again are good. They typically sell your sweat equity to their clients and pocket the cash while you’re left with questions and frustration. Is it possible that the ad is legitimate? Sure, but do you want to take that chance?

This is an excerpt from an actual posting (emphasis mine):

"So for your test assignment, I'd like you to pick one of the above topics and write me 775 to 850 words..."

To test my theory, I responded to the ad asking for further information before I applied. Sure enough, I received a robo-reply then later that same day I received another reply asking me if they can expect to receive my "assignment" that day. Yikes! Talk about high pressure.

Danger, Will Robinson! (Or: How I Learned to Spot Job Posting Red Flags, Part 1)

You can’t make the dead presidents without using some common sense.

So this post, the first in a series, explores those dicey writing want ads constantly clogging up online job posting sites. Through much time and frustration, I’ve discovered firsthand that many of them are outright scams, while others just seek to prey on the naïve or inexperienced. These sites can be a great resource to find work -- if you can separate the genuine opportunities from those trying to nab your work, your cash or your identity, or flood your e-mail with spam.

Dubious? Legit? Larcenous? Before you reply to ads, check for some warning signs:

*!#@%^&. Check for standard addresses. Do you know of any valid businesses with Web sites that resemble "www.$$$$.ru/34bdzxj835h/xx35.html"? Or e-mail addresses looking like "dinero34bgjk70#8sghfyxx@yahoo.com"?

Puppy Writer mills. Do you really want your name attached to an enterprise that stresses you "must be able to write at least 40 to 50 articles a week -- more interested in quantity than quality"? They won't pay you nearly enough anyway.

Worst Face Forward. Projecting an amateurish visage makes me, and I know I’m not alone here, click off the page quicker than a cheetah strung out on triple espressos (now there’s a mental image you don’t often see):

• Not stating upfront whether the gig pays or not. Making me rifle through pages and pages of a Web site to find out is not endearing.
  
• IF THE SUBJECT LINE (and worse, the ad itself) IS IN ALL CAPS WITH LOTS OF EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!!!
  
• If the ad is riddled with grammar, punctuation, spelling or syntax errors, what does it say about the quality of the publication or Web site they’re running?
  

Feel free to comment and add your own helpful hints.