Creative Writing Triggers

Writers write. That may seem painfully obvious but it’s what we do. We can’t afford to be so undisciplined that the words don’t flow from the keyboard. Call it procrastination, laziness or something else (I don’t believe in writer’s block. See my post about that here).

In another post, I shared some writing exercises that one of my former college professors used in class. Here are a few of my own techniques that I’ve come up with over the years:

Write down some words at random and list as many synonyms as you can for each. Pull out the thesaurus if you have to. Seeing certain words in black and white can trigger ideas.

Copy the lyrics from a song you despise. Take those verses that make you wince from their supreme awfulness and rewrite them.

Make up a product or service that you need to sell. Create ad headlines that will grab people’s attention. Don’t filter yourself — let your imagination go wild.

Danger, Will Robinson! (Or: How I Learned to Spot Job Posting Red Flags, Part 4)

This is a continuation of Danger, Will Robinson! (Or: How I Learned to Spot Job Posting Red Flags, Part 1), (Part 2) and (Part 3).


“The compensation will be seeing your name published in a local publication. It will look excellent on your resume!!”

“Compensation: Clips and exposure to millions of readers.”

“No pay but you’ll help the world go green!”

Look familiar? Not exactly paying gigs, are they? But there they are, to be found in abundance on online “paying” job posting boards. I’ve found that many of these come-ons either overpromise what they’re selling or are outright frauds designed to suck you in for nefarious purposes. Sure, there are legitimate opportunities to build your portfolio, if you’re willing to write for free, but like anything else, there are people willing to take advantage of the naïve or inattentive by getting something for nothing. Once you get a few pieces published, though, it’s time to go for the moolah.

The debate within the writing community rages on as to whether you should ever write for free (gotta accumulate those clips somehow) or not (it ultimately cheapens the profession for everybody). Heck, I did it when I was a newbie. But I didn’t delude myself into thinking that I would be “discovered” by some big-shot wheeler-and-dealer who would launch my writing career into the stratosphere, or any other such nonsense. I did it to collect bylines and that all-important experience. But it didn’t take me long to realize that my time, effort and skills are valuable commodities deserving of pay.

So how do you separate the honest, cash-strapped folks (think nonprofits) from the con artists? Sometimes it can feel as complicated and arduous as separating the chocolate from the milk, but pay attention to what the ad is really saying — read between the lines. Beware of any ad that screams:

“New, exciting, up-and-coming national magazine started by technology gazillionaire Tommy Moneypants, with the backing of Fortune 500 companies, seeks writers! Oh, and even though our founder has more cash than Bill Gates and Warren Buffet combined, we can’t afford to pay you. But you’ll get a byline.”

My advice? Click off that page as fast you can.

Agree? Disagree? Want to add to the conversation? Feel free to comment.

Freelance Writing Job Scams

Ever read an online writing job posting that triggers your skeptical radar? I found a handy dandy article, 12 Ways to Protect Yourself against Writing Scams posted on Freelance Writing Jobs that gives a good overview of how to interpret these job offers (and alleged offers).

Why Is It . . .

. . .That online writing job postings with lots of exclamation points in the subject line (or even one, really) invariably pay nothing? I don’t get it. Do they think people are so dimwitted that they’ll be distracted by the !!!!!!!! and not notice that the gig pays squat?

This is sort of a continuation of my Danger, Will Robinson! (Or: How I Learned to Spot Job Posting Red Flags, Part 1) post.

Danger, Will Robinson! (Or: How I Learned to Spot Job Posting Red Flags, Part 3)

To read Part 1, visit here. Part 2 here.

Let's talk about money ... your money. More specifically, throwing your money away. And chances are that's what you'll end up doing if you pay to obtain "secret" job listings.

These kinds of ads prey upon our desire to get the jump on our competition by giving us access into an all-exclusive enclave. Don't be fooled. There is no such thing as a super-duper-ultra-suede-Doppler-5000-double-dog-dare listing of secret freelance jobs. If you receive anything for your money, it will be recycled listings from job sites that are easily available to anyone for free.

And of course, you should never -- EVER -- pay to have something you write be considered for publication (contests are another animal). That's called a rip-off.

Job Posting Boards

Here's a valuable, time-saving listing of freelance job postings brought to you by the always informative Allenia Tapia of About.com.

Happy hunting!

Danger, Will Robinson! (Or: How I Learned to Spot Job Posting Red Flags, Part 2)

To read Part 1, visit here.

Let’s take a look at freelance writing job postings that ask for a little too much.

If the ad requires you to take a "test" by writing a "sample," hit the Back button. This is an open invitation to steal your work (it happens all the time), especially if they demand you submit it to them today. You’ll typically be asked to write on a very specific topic with certain keywords and phrases. You’ll bust your butt to craft the best piece possible, submit it, and the chances that you never hear from them again are good. They typically sell your sweat equity to their clients and pocket the cash while you’re left with questions and frustration. Is it possible that the ad is legitimate? Sure, but do you want to take that chance?

This is an excerpt from an actual posting (emphasis mine):

"So for your test assignment, I'd like you to pick one of the above topics and write me 775 to 850 words..."

To test my theory, I responded to the ad asking for further information before I applied. Sure enough, I received a robo-reply then later that same day I received another reply asking me if they can expect to receive my "assignment" that day. Yikes! Talk about high pressure.

Keeping the Inaction Beast at Bay

Per a previous post (Writer’s Block? Patooey!), looking at a blank screen or piece of paper while trying to create something worthwhile can be intimidating. But what if you’re stuck? What if those words simple refuse to emerge from those invisible corners of your cranium?

While repeatedly banging your head against the wall might seem like the prudent thing to do in the heat of frustration, it is not in you r best interest. Try creative exercises instead. When I took a Creative Writing class at Hudson Valley Community College , the instructor had us do some terrific writing exercises that pried, cajoled and freed those elusive words from the gray matter. Here are a few of them, and though geared mostly to poetry and creative writing, they’re a great way for writers in any genre to slap those creative juices back into shape:

• Cut out words from magazines, books, newspapers or catalogs and jumble them up. Match them up to create interesting, unexpected combinations. Similar to Magnetic Poetry, but with two big differences: it’s free and there’s no restriction on the number or types of words you can play with.

• Along the same lines, take full pages from magazines, books or whatever and cut into quarters. Match them up to concoct provocative, surprising sentences.

• Take an excerpt from a book or magazine that’s written in a foreign language you can’t read. Translate it into English just based on the appearance of the words and your feelings. Don’t think too hard; just do.

Danger, Will Robinson! (Or: How I Learned to Spot Job Posting Red Flags, Part 1)

You can’t make the dead presidents without using some common sense.

So this post, the first in a series, explores those dicey writing want ads constantly clogging up online job posting sites. Through much time and frustration, I’ve discovered firsthand that many of them are outright scams, while others just seek to prey on the naïve or inexperienced. These sites can be a great resource to find work -- if you can separate the genuine opportunities from those trying to nab your work, your cash or your identity, or flood your e-mail with spam.

Dubious? Legit? Larcenous? Before you reply to ads, check for some warning signs:

*!#@%^&. Check for standard addresses. Do you know of any valid businesses with Web sites that resemble "www.$$$$.ru/34bdzxj835h/xx35.html"? Or e-mail addresses looking like "dinero34bgjk70#8sghfyxx@yahoo.com"?

Puppy Writer mills. Do you really want your name attached to an enterprise that stresses you "must be able to write at least 40 to 50 articles a week -- more interested in quantity than quality"? They won't pay you nearly enough anyway.

Worst Face Forward. Projecting an amateurish visage makes me, and I know I’m not alone here, click off the page quicker than a cheetah strung out on triple espressos (now there’s a mental image you don’t often see):

• Not stating upfront whether the gig pays or not. Making me rifle through pages and pages of a Web site to find out is not endearing.
  
• IF THE SUBJECT LINE (and worse, the ad itself) IS IN ALL CAPS WITH LOTS OF EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!!!
  
• If the ad is riddled with grammar, punctuation, spelling or syntax errors, what does it say about the quality of the publication or Web site they’re running?
  

Feel free to comment and add your own helpful hints.

An Alternative to Query Letters

Freelance writers need to be businesspeople. No one will look out for you but you. And part of that includes marketing yourself. And part of the marketing process includes query letters -- or in my case, the lack thereof. A common obstacle freelancers face, and one I struggle with, is those dang query letters.

What if I have a dynamite idea for an article or feature and I know in which publications it would fit perfectly, but I'm not sure how to convince an editor to buy it? The answer? A query letter, of course. When I first started pursuing writing as a career, I was convinced that the only way to publication glory was to craft perfectly compelling and convincing query letters that sell my ideas. You know ... magic. Sort of like the brisk flourish of a pixie dust-laced scepter. For whatever reason, query letters don't flow from my keyboard like some writers who seem to get the highest paying assignments from the coolest publications by the simple fact that they can easily and quickly compose these publication magnets. For me, it’s usually about as effortless (and fun) as finding a marshmallow on Mt. Everest.

The problem? Publications or Web sites that I absolutely knew I could write for. The style, the tone, the length, everything was up my alley. But if I didn’t have a specific topic to pitch I was out of luck. It was frustrating to say the least. That is until one day I read an article telling me to break those chains of query letters -- I didn’t need them. Instead, the article suggested using an introduction, or marketing, letter or e-mail. It’s a short two- or three-paragraph letter that basically asks if they use freelancers and offers a snapshot of who I am and where I've published. That’s it. Simple brilliance that set me free! Article after article that I read previously repeated the mantra: the one and only way to get your piece published was the (cue the music) query letters. It’s one of those "rules" that I ended up breaking, and I continue to break.

I would venture to say that at least three-quarters of the paying assignments I’ve received over the past couple of years are a direct or indirect result of the intro letters I’ve sent out. I haven’t completely abandoned query letters yet; I do have some article ideas that I’m confident I can sell. I’m just trying to perfect those query letter-writing skills -- while still sending out those intro letters.

The Story of My First "Real" Sale

On my home office bookshelf is a tome that I started reading some time ago then abandoned for some reason. The best laid plans ... etc. and so forth. Anyway, the book, First Words: Early Writings From Favorite Contemporary Authors, is an anthology, collected and edited by Paul Mandelbaum, that is a fascinating glimpse into the embryonic calling of such celebrated wordsmiths as Norman Mailer, Joyce Carol Oates, Roy Blount, Jr. through the examination of their stories, novels, poems and other very early works -- grade school papers, in some cases.

It got me to thinking about the commencement of my own writing career. Back in the day, collecting clips mostly entailed getting poems published in small literary publications. When not rejected (which was frequent), payment for acceptance was always a contributor’s copy (or two) of the magazine. I wasn’t making any money, but that wasn’t the point. I was honing my craft while racking up the bylines. My name was in print, and how cool is that?

That is until I sent my poem "Twist of Faith" to Theme Poetry, a small magazine which I believe has since folded, for consideration. The poem was a raw response to my mother’s death and how I grappled with that stark reality. Because it was so close to my heart, I was delighted to learn the piece was accepted for publication -- and they sent me a check to boot. I was beyond giddy because this was my first sale that actually involved the transaction of currency. There was a problem, though. I received an acceptance letter and a check, but no copy of the issue my poem was published in, which I later learned I needed to purchase. The price for a copy of the issue? $5. My first writing paycheck? $5. Such is the lucrative, glamorous life of a writer.

ByLine Magazine published an essay I wrote about the whole puzzling ordeal.